I don't want perfection, I only want your obedience.
Wow! When the Lord speaks that nugget of wisdom to you (especially me a very Type A perfectionist) , it quickly makes everything else fade away! Turns out there is a diseased and crippled man in John 5: 2-9 that I can completely relate with. This man had been an invalid for 38 years! He had been by the pool of Bethesda hoping to be healed. The sick, blind, and diseased would gather by this pool as it was believed that angels would stir the water. When the water was stirred the first person to enter the water would be healed of his ailments. This crippled man had been waiting by the water trying to get in each time it was stirred, but someone always beat him to it, he couldn't move fast enough. He sat by the pool watching others pass him by time and time again. I'm sure he felt hopeless, looked over, of little importance, wondering about his place in life. Until one day Jesus walked by the pool and saw the man...I just love their conversation, this is so me:
6 When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, "Do you want to get well?" 7 "Sir," the invalid replied, "I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me." 8 Then Jesus said to him, "Get up! Pick up your mat and walk." 9 At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked.
When Jesus asked this invalid a very direct 'Yes' or 'No' question, the man answered with excuses. To me his excuses imply that he had little faith in Jesus to heal him, didn't fully believe Jesus could perform such a miracle, maybe didn't even recognize Jesus for who He was. Yet Jesus, takes the man for what he is, crippled and sick, and heals him in a second. Instantly that invalid was provided with everything he needs by Jesus, what a miracle! This got me thinking, Jesus told me to share my story, to blog about what I've learned through our infertility struggles, and my answer to Him was not a direct 'Yes' or 'No'. Instead, like the invalid I have spent months dragging my feet, making excuses, while others obeying God pass me by. What do my excuses say to God? Perhaps that I have little faith that He can provide me the right words to type, that I don't fully believe He will provide me time to write, that He will bring the right people to my blog to read it, and that He will grow and protect me through my sharing. Jesus is saying to me, "Get Up!" Get up and do what I am asking of you! Get up, I am calling you to obedience not perfection in the small details! Get up and do something with the infertility path that I have allowed your life to take.
So here I am, sharing our story and what I have learned. Our journey to children has been messy, difficult, challenging, heartbreaking, and rewarding all at the same time. It has been filled with mountains of JOY and valley's of deep dark despair. But the same Jesus that saw something in that desperate crippled man, pulled him out of his agony, and healed him is the same Jesus that has been with us every step of the way. He has pulled us out of anger and bitterness after every failed fertility cycle or pregnancy and healed our hearts, always providing us a way. I am finally GETTING UP AND WALKING, firmly saying YES to Jesus and sharing the JOY I have found in Christ through our infertility struggles. Hope you join me for this crazy ride!
So glad you started your blog!!! Make sure in your blog settings that you include a side bar widget so people can follow your blog and receive your updates. If you need help setting that up, let me know! I want to be able to follow your journey :)
ReplyDeleteAshley
The Mrs. & Co.
Thanks Ashley! I need all the help I can get! :-)
DeleteI love this! We only have to take the next step in front of us and walk in obedience....we might not even be able to see the whole path ahead of us but through faith we can trust him to guide us each step! That's the hard part for the planners who want to know the whole story and how it will all turn out but God will give us the strength for today....we just need to get up & walk! Love this Joni!
ReplyDeleteI don't want perfection...I want your obedience!!! Wow!!! Such a good word. Thank you!
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